Teaching your puppy life skills

While we all think that we want a well-trained dog, it is far more important that you also teach your puppy life skills – those things that aren’t the traditional obedience exercises we often think about when we think of training but instead are those seemingly simple things that will transform your unruly baby into the dog of your dreams and ensure they will fit into family life.

Often people think these things are just something a dog should somehow know automatically – but they don’t come pre-programmed… you have to teach them.

These include things like not jumping up, not begging at the table, being able to be groomed, coming back when called, not pulling on the lead, being able to visit new places and meet new people without worries, and being able to relax and settle… all those things that make life easy for you and fun for your dog.

Teaching your puppy to enjoy being handled

One of the most important life skills for your puppy to learn is to enjoy being handled. This includes being groomed, and being touched around their feet, face, mouth, and ears without complaint.

Too many dogs grow up fearful of their owners’ hands and not wanting to be touched because this vital lesson has been missed. Hopefully the breeder you got your puppy from has already started this, and your puppy is already happy being gently handled – but now they have to learn to like being handled by you.

First make a rule that no one in your family or household ever handles or plays with your puppy roughly, or pushes them around with their hands. Hands aren’t for playing with, grabbing or biting, and in these early days, being touched should always be your puppy's idea.

In the first few weeks, let your puppy approach you. Don't grab them or hang on to them. And remember the five second rule… Stroke them for five seconds and then stop. If your puppy moves away, don’t continue. If they stay and encourage you to continue, do so for another five seconds and then stop and repeat. Effectively, you are asking your puppy for consent to interact with them – rather than forcing them to be handled by you.

Once they are happy approaching you and trust your hands, you can start to build up where and how you can touch them.

Start with some really tasty treats, and give them one as you stroke a little way down the side of their body. You want your puppy to link your touch with the treat so they have positive associations to being touched. Don’t hold onto them – you want them to choose to stay with you so you know they are doing it willingly.
Once they are happy doing this, you can begin to run your hand gently over the top of their head and down their ears – still using your tasty treat to make positive associations with your hands.
Now you can start to slowly run your hand down their legs and paws too. Some dogs are very sensitive on their paws so make sure you don’t grab them or pull them – and take it very slowly. If your puppy looks uncomfortable or backs away at any point, you need to go back a few steps. This should be something you do ‘with’ your dog and not do ‘to’ them.
Now you can do exactly the same thing with a soft brush to get your dog used to being groomed. Use the treat as before and first brush down the side of your dog, then very gently around their head, ears and paws.
Also do this with your puppy’s collar on too, and slide your fingers into their collar while you are giving them the treat. Don’t pull on it, just teach them that having your fingers in their collar is a good thing.

Never force the puppy to put up with something they aren’t enjoying. If they squirm away, you need to go back a few steps and make sure they are happy before you move on. If you force them to just ‘get over it’, you will be far more likely to end up with a puppy who is frightened of your hands or that just avoids you.

Teaching your puppy to settle

One of the other best life skill exercises you will ever teach your dog is how to settle in the house. They need to know that there are times when you just need them to have an ‘off switch’ and lie quietly – whether it is while you relax or when you go visiting friends and want to take them with you.

This is a really easy exercise to teach but one that should be included in your training from the very start of your life together:

Start when your dog is already likely to be able to settle – so after a walk or playtime is the perfect time. If you try and do this exercise when your dog is full of energy or is anticipating a walk, you are just setting them up to fail – and why should they settle down when you haven’t met their basic need for exercise?

Make sure there is a comfortable spot next to you where your dog can lie. Attach a lightweight lead to your dog’s harness, and then attach it very loosely to the chair you are sitting on. The lead shouldn’t be short or pulling them to the floor or even next to you – just be short enough that they can’t wander off and find more interesting things to do!

Sit down and relax! No matter what your dog does, don’t worry. They may move around, wander to the length of the lead, maybe bark or paw at you etc, but just carry on watching the TV or read until they eventually settle beside you. Then quietly praise them and give them a treat wait for a short time while they are settled and then reward them and let them off the lead to go and do something else.

Some dogs settle quite quickly, others take longer, but don’t be tempted to give them a cue to lie down. You want them to choose to settle down themself at times when you are going to be ‘boring’! You sitting down to relax is their cue to settle.

If you have a very food-oriented dog, you may prefer to reward them by stroking them as they may not relax if they are waiting all the time anticipating another treat!

Or if they find it hard to settle, you could give them a stuffed Kong they can chew on while lying down quietly. Do what works best for your dog.

Start slow. Only expect them to stay settled for a minute or so before unclipping them and finishing the exercise. You can then slowly build it up to longer periods, but always vary the length of time so your dog isn’t anticipating being released and is more likely to just settle down and rest. Most dogs once they understand the settle, will take the chance of a snooze.

Once they can do this easily, practise it in lots of different places. Different rooms or outside in the garden, when visiting friends, at the pub etc so you will have a dog who will settle anywhere you take them. This may well be one of the most useful life skills you will ever teach!

What's next?

Settling your new puppy in

Puppy toilet training tips

About the Author

Carolyn is an accredited behaviourist and trainer with over 20 years experience working with dogs and other companion animals. She has written books, over 800 published articles and trains owners and professionals alike, both nationally and internationally. She is currently the Chair of the UK Dog Behaviour and Training Charter. Carolyn is also an experienced broadcaster and presenter, has appeared in five TV series’ and countless radio shows. Her passion is for helping owners build a strong and positive relationship with the companion animals who share their lives, and fully develop the potential of the bond between them.